


100 Reasons Why

by readingpower



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readingpower/pseuds/readingpower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay, before I write this (in Times New Roman font 13 bitches) just let me explain something to you first. I'm not a sappy guy. Get any of those thoughts out of your head now. Are they gone? Good." In which Prussia makes a list, Canada is surprised, and somehow they manage to fall in love. Prucan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Toatally-Not-Sappy List

Okay, before I write this (in Times New Roman font 13 bitches) just let me explain something to you first. I’m not a sappy guy. Get any of those thoughts out of your head now. Are they gone? Good.

So, if I’m not a sappy guy (which I’m not) why am I writing this? I’ll tell you. Mattie got it into his head that he was unawesome, and didn’t believe me when I said I could easily come up with 100 reasons people shouldn’t ignore him. I couldn’t just let someone challenge me like that! Which is why I’m writing this. Besides, maybe he’ll start praising me for this!

It’s not because I’m sappy. Really!

And now that everyone know I’m not some dude who hides Britney Spear songs in his closet, onto the list!

  1. Have you tasted his pancakes? They stand for, like, five reasons on their own!

  2. He has the patience of a God.

  3. He’s related to Francis, Arthur, and Alfred, and doesn’t have any type of mental disorder. Again, worth five reasons!

  4. ~~He’s adorable.~~

  5. ~~Even when he denies being adorable.~~

  6. ~~Fuck I just admitted I thought he was adorable. Damn, I wish I wasn’t writing in pen.~~




    4. Let’s try this again. He’s sorta handsome in a totally not gay way.

    5. When he watches hockey, he gets all pissed off, but before he gets really into this (which I totally don’t run away from, by the way) he’ll keep glancing at you and trying to calm down. Something about “not wanting to overwhelm me.”

    6. When he stops worrying about it and just gets angry. ~~(Which is both hot and scary by the way.)~~

    7. Why do I have a feeling I’m going to blot a lot of stuff out? Anyway, his eyes change color. Normally they’re blue, but sometimes they’re red. Matt denies it, but it’s true.

    8. Gilbird loves him. Everything Gilbird loves is awesome, therefore, he is awesome.

    9. I don’t think anyone has ever not liked him. He’s too likeable.

    10. When he laughs, he does this ~~cute~~ thing where he scrunches up his nose.

    11. I would have punched literally everyone he knows by now. Except me, of course. I’m too awesome to get punched.

    12. He volunteers at the hospital and zoo, but refuses to get a job at either of them. Literally, someone tried to give him a job doing exactly what he was doing as a volunteer, and he said no. He said it would make the kids feel like he was being forced to care for them. Which I don’t get, but hey, it’s his choice.

    13. He has a heart bigger than his body. See above.

    14. When I prank someone, he’ll come along and won’t tell anyone it was me, even though he tells me he will.

    15. He even took the blame for one that went horribly wrong, which would have gotten me expelled, but he only got a warning.

    16. He lets his cousin Amelia give him a makeover and give him ponytails. (Yes, I still have pictures.)

    17. Pretty sure he’d rather kill himself than let someone worry about him. Crazy dork.

    18. Oh, and he went through that weeaboo stage. Which was highly annoying, but his eyes kept shinning, so it was worth it.

    19. Ha! And birdie thought this would be hard. I’m already at nineteen.

    20. When someone talked shit about me behind my back they kept walking into school with bad hair/running mascara/wet clothes/ect. And Mattie was always the first to notice. Coincidence? I think not!

    21. He gives awesome massages.

    22. When people call him innocent, he smiles and plans their murder.

    23. Okay, so that last one was a lie. At least, I’m pretty sure it is.

    24. I hope it is. Sort of. In a way.

    25. 1/4 done bitches!

    26. His hair is really soft. Like, the only person who has softer hair than him is that Raivis kid.

    27. It’s like feathers and marshmallows combined, but in a good way.

    28. He’s also super ticklish, and he’ll practically scream if you poke him in the right spot. (Then ignore you for the rest of the day, but the vine was so worth it.)

    29. His laugh is like a little kids’, and it’s really ~~cute~~ funny.

    30. I like him, and I don’t like any unawesome people.

    31. He doesn’t mind when I call him Birdie.

    32. He treats everyone the same. Which is annoying when it’s some bastard like Ivan, but still good for the most part.

    33. He makes you think he’s all innocent then—BAMN! He yells at you for three hours and points every one of your flaws. ( _That_ video was deleted as soon as possible.)

    34. He has a lot of different smiles. Like, one is really soft and giggly and another is huge and it makes you want to smile too.

    35. I mean, not that I pay attention to it. Just something I picked up on.

    36. Really!

    37. But no matter what type of smile it is, they all make you want to smile too.

    38. He’s pretty much always smiling.

    39. He’s memorized every pancake recipe he could get his hands on. I can’t even remember the answers to a test!

    40. When you tease him, he pretty much always blushes in a really ~~cute~~ . . . unique way.

    41. Antonio has literally started comparing his blushing to Lovino’s. I’m not kidding. ~~But let’s be honest, usually Lovino’s “blushing” is out of anger.~~

    42. He can speak French.

    43. And not make it pervy. (Looking at you Francis)

    44. He makes everything into a pun. E v e r y t h i n g.

    45. His hands are really soft.

    46. . . . Don’t ask me how I know that.

    47. It’s not by holding his hand.

    48. No homo.

    49. He does this humming thing when he’s concentrating, but he doesn’t even realize it.

    50. ½ done bitches! I’m not even sweating!

    51. He can actually solve a rubix cube.

    52. He has this really soft snore.

    53. Not sure, but he may cuss in French.

    54. Aw, who am I kidding? This is Mathew Williams! He doesn’t cuss.

    55. . . . Right?

    56. . . . Anyway, he talks in his sleep, and I have learned way more than I ever needed to, but still, it’s sort of cute when he just mumbles incoherently.

    57. You’d think he listens to really girly lullaby stuff, right? Wrong. I stole his ipod once and the first song I heard was death metal. ~~Sorry I didn’t talk to you for a week by the way.~~

    58. He also has a really soothing voice if you’re ever scared or something.

    59. Not that I know.

    60. Someone just told me.

    61. . . . Really . . .

    62. Mattie has the most adorable dimples.

    63. Seriously, no one can have better dimples.

    64. No. One.

    65. He has this black book that he freaks out about if anyone touches it.

    66. . . . I have no idea why I mentioned that.

    67. It just sort of appeared.

    68. Speaking of appearing, he is great at startling people. Like, freakily good at it.

    69. When someone tried to cut down his favorite tree, he chained himself to it and made Alfred swallow the key.

    70. Once they left he took the spare key from his pocket and undid the lock.

    71. . . . Seriously, they didn’t think to check him for a spare key.

    72. Talk about stupid.

    73. He said it was like a big magic trick.

    74. He is really good at those, by the way.

    75. Wow. I’m ¾ done. I thought I would have been fumbling for answers by now.

    76. You know the saying, “It’s always the quiet ones?” Well, that’s pretty much Birdie personified.

    77. He’s really flexible.

    78. . . . I know that from twister, get your mind out of the gutter.

    79. Whenever he’s pissed, he’ll pretend to be a ghost to freak whoever it was out.

    80. They never notice.

    81. Except me, but Mattie was only kidding when he did it. ~~And got tickled because of it.~~

    82. I think he does it accidentally sometimes.

    83. Like, he’ll try to talk to them and they’ll think he’s a ghost for a minute before noticing him.

    84. Not sure if that’s funny or sad.

    85. The other people are really unawesome though.

    86. Birdie, listen to this. They are the unawesome ones. Not. You.

    87. If you only get to read one of these, read that one.

    88. Which isn’t sappy, by the way. It’s just the truth.

    89. And you know that, because I’m not sappy.

    90. Therefore it must be the truth.

    91. And it is.

    92. Because Birdie is awesome.

    93. And he needs to realize it.

    94. Which is why I’m writing all these reasons down.

    95. Even though half of them are just stuff I want to say.

    96. Like the past six or so.

    97. But that doesn’t change the fact that you are awesome.

    98. You always have been.

    99. You are right now.

    100. You always will be.

Told you I could come up with 100 without a problem. I’ll even be nice and give you a 101th reason.

Ask me when I give this to you.


	2. Not What I Had In Mind

Gilbert leaned up against the brick wall of the school with a sigh of irritation. He was in the secluded school garden (and a pitiful one at that) but not to see the greenery. School had only just restarted a week ago, so there weren’t any flowers even if he did want to see them—which he didn’t. He had never liked flowers that much (too prissy) but Mathew obsessed over them to the point of declaring random flowers’ names that he saw growing from the ground.

Mathew.                                        

Mathew was going to be the fucking death of him.

Not only had he caused him to spend last night taking off the last portion of the “List of Reasons Your Awesome that You Need to Open Your Eyes and See Because You have the Confidence of a Squirrel,” as he called it, putting it back on, thinking it looked to scribbly, rewriting the **_entire_** thing, taking it off—AGAIN, ripping the stupid paper apart, and finally writing it into the computer where he did the same exact thing—minus the ripping—until he realized he was being unawesome and just sent it, which was bad enough, but he also made his stomach flip-flop just by laughing and was the only person who could make him blush.

Not that he would admit it. It was way too unawesome.

But whether he would admit it or not didn’t matter: it was true. And it was also true that he had altered the last paragraph to say, “I’ll tell you Monday in the garden,” instead of “Ask me when you get this.”

It was only after he sent it he realized he hadn’t said whether to be in the garden before or after school. And sending a new email would just make his carefully created sense of awesomeness and mystery from the letter disappear.

So he showed up an hour early and waited, ignoring his brother’s shocked face.

But apparently an hour was a bit too long, as a teacher had seen him and thought he was “vandalizing school property.” He had run away, of course, but in homeroom Mrs. Stewarts had given him the stink-eye treatment, though she didn’t say anything outright.

So, here he was, waiting in the run-down garden and hoping Mathew didn’t think he had blown him off.

Gott, why couldn’t they have any classes together? Someone really hated him up there. They were probably related to Ivan, the evil bastards.

‘Mathew probably thinks _I’m_ an evil bastard now,’ Gilbert thought bitterly, a quick glance at his watch showing it had been thirteen minutes since school had ended. Mathew probably wasn’t even coming.

Gilbert pushed himself off the wall, scowling as he walked to the cherry blossom tree a few yards away. He kicked at a stray leaf angrily, then snapped a branch off the tree. He snapped the branch two more times before throwing it to the side. In the back of his mind he heard Mrs. Stewarts screeching at him for vandalizing school property, and he snapped another branch.

This was her fault. If she hadn’t been such a bitch earlier he would’ve been able to talk to Mathew, but no. That was just too “scandalous,” and “juvenile.” Stupid, unawesome bitch.

He picked up a large branch that had fallen onto the ground naturally and broke it over his knee.

_Do you really think destroying a tree will do anything?_

Stupid conscience. Stupid fact that it sounded like Mathew. Stupid Mrs. Stewarts. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Everything was stupid.

He glanced at his watch again. Three more minutes had passed. When was Mathew going to show up?

 _He may not show up at all. After all,_ you _weren’t here._

_Shut up._

Gilbert started drumming his fingers on his leg, trying to evade time. He glanced over the familiar grass, garden sections, pond, and small fake bridge. Then he did it again. He looked at his watch.

15 seconds had passed.

Gilbert threw his head back and groaned, taking off another 5 seconds. He slumped down, slowly dragging his back against the bark as he did. He picked a strand of grass, tore it apart, then did it again.

After four pieces of grass he just started to yank the stuff out of the ground, hoping for anything to stave off his boredom. He competed with himself to see how much he could pull out at a time.

After a minute he realized what the awesome Gilbert had been reduced to, and got up hurriedly, walking over to the miniature bridge. Some of the garden club members must have been out here before, as there was a small line of dirty stones on the railing.

With a swish of his arm they all met the water with a plop.

 _Of course_ you _did that. You can only destroy, destroy, destroy. Ever heard of making things? It’s not that hard. No wonder Mathew doesn’t want—_

He hit himself smartly in the face, shaking his head to remind himself that he was awesome and no one could change that.

Not even Mathew Williams.

Fucking bastard. It had been 18 minutes now. Just because he didn’t show up earlier didn’t mean he could just skip out now. He should’ve assumed he meant later, a.k.a. now. But now, the bastard was obviously too self-absorbed for that.

‘He’s probably laughing himself silly at the thought of me, waiting for someone who isn’t coming,’ Gilbert thought venomously, ignoring the small voice in the back of his head that said Mathew wasn’t that type of person.

Gilbert glanced at his watch again, seeing it was edging on the 19th minute.

_Screw it. I’m done waiting. If he didn’t show up now he’s not going to. One minute isn’t going to change that._

With that Gilbert shoved his hands into his jacket, turning away from the bridge and towards the one-way gate, scowling as he did.

Step. Step. Step. He listened to the way his boots crunched against the gravel, pretending he didn’t hear when the crunches grew farther and farther apart, until they stopped completely and he couldn’t anymore. His hand rested on the push bar, his head twitching slightly before he forced it forwards.

_He’s not coming. Get over it. It’s your fault anyway._

He pushed the door open, stomping away angrily as he heard the door slam shut. His boots slapped against the sidewalk angrily as he started to pick up pace—trying to get away from _that_ place—until suddenly they weren’t.

It toke him a second for him to realize he had heard someone call his name. It toke another for the yelling to get loud enough for him to realize it as Mathew.

“Gil! Gilbert—Wait!” he yelled, finally reaching the metal gate and panting. “I’m sorry—my brother—he tried to get me to go with him, and—”

Gilbert glared at the gasping Canadian, who had knelt over and leant on the fence, trying to get back his breath.

“Oh, if course,” he said bitterly, “your brother.”

Mathew straitened slightly, his eyebrows crinkled slightly as he looked at Gilbert.

“Huh? What are—what are you talking about?” Mathew managed to get out, swallowing thickly. Gilbert snorted.

“Whenever something goes wrong it’s always, “My brother did this,” or, “my brother did that.” Why can’t you just say it’s your fault?” He said glaring.

“I never said it wasn’t,” Mathew said, blinking slightly and glaring (lightly) in return. “I just said that—”

“That if it wasn’t for Alfred, it wouldn’t have happened. I know. I’ve heard it enough for a fucking lifetime.”

“Gilbert, I—” Mathew stopped himself. He pushed the door open roughly and gestured inside. “Get in. I’m not having this conversation through wire.”

“What if I want to stay out here?” Gilbert asked, crossing his arms. “I was waiting _in there_ for twenty minutes.”

Mathew sighed, running his hand through his hair and his eyes lightening, no longer holding that nasty glare. “Look, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to show up so late. I came here earlier and you weren’t here.”

A pang of guilt hit Gilbert right in his chest, before he pushed it away, determined to glare harder than ever.  

“Well you still had twenty minutes to get here,” he said, and added quickly before he could respond, “And don’t give me that bullshit excuse of your brother. I **know** you can get away from him in less than twenty minutes. Don’t even fucking pretend it’s not true. We both know it is. So, what?” He gestured slightly with his hands. “Did you think this wasn’t important enough to leave? That it didn’t matter? That _I_ didn’t matter? Why did you even bother showing up? For all you knew, I had left. That I had—”

“WOULD YOU SHUT UP!” Mathew suddenly growled, pushing Gilbert through the still open door (he barely dodged being hit by it) and letting go roughly so he almost fell. Even as he stumbled Mathew pointed at him angrily, like a mother scolding her children. “I _couldn’t_ get away from Alfred because he drove me home before I could do anything. I had to run back here to be here at all, and yes, I did know you had probably left. But I knew there was a small, small chance you didn’t and I fucking hoped it was true. Because I did care. Because this did matter to me. Because it meant the fucking world to me!” He threw his hands into the air as his voice hit a new high.

Gilbert didn’t say anything and for a while the only sound was Mathew’s haggard breathing, slowly becoming steadier and steadier as he slumped further and further down and the light in his eyes went out. Then he talked again.

“But apparently not to you,” he whispered, any hint of anger gone, only leaving bitter disappointment that Gilbert knew he had caused. He turned towards the school building and Gilbert felt anger flare up from the very pit of him stomach and—

The next second he pushed Mathew into the wall, centimeter away and breathing heavily. Mathew’s eyes widened and he stuttered silently, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Every move and breath he toke carved itself into his memory, and years later Gilbert would still be able to recite it perfectly, right down to the light breeze that pushed his hair slightly to the left and made the one strand fall into his eyes.

Gilbert gazed over him greedily before leaning down and kissing his neck sloppily.

“Not caring?” he asked breathily between kisses. “Not fucking caring? I care way too fucking much. I mean— _fuck._ I don’t know how I could care for you more. I really don’t. That’s the 101th reason—the . . . 101th reason,” Gilbert said slowly, raising his head slowly as he though over what he had just said.

He stumbled backwards—

_Away from Mathew. It’s always away from Mathew_

_—_ eyes widening as he realized that the 101th reason was because he cared for him and loved him and wanted the best for him and what he was doing was anything but the best. What he was doing was freaky, and stupid, and hurtful, and anything but caring. It was possessive and creepy and Mathew didn’t deserve it. Not from anyone. He shook his head vividly, not caring if Mathew thought he was insane ( _he deserved it anyway_ ) just wanting the feeling of utter self-loathing and the knowing he had almost—that he had—oh god. What had he just done?

He knew he was protective, he always had been, but this was different. This wasn’t some toy or candy that could be replaced or broken. It wasn’t even a fucking pet! This was a human being. This was Mathew! Not something to be owned and—

“Oh gott. Oh my fucking—Mathew I—Gott, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was so angry—I didn’t even realize I—Gott. You probably hate me now. _I_ hate me now. I mean—gott.” He ran his hand threw his hair and forced himself to breathe through the cotton in his chest, trying to believe it had nothing to do with his prickling eyes and his voice wasn’t shaking. A sudden feeling burst up through his chest, breaking the cotton easily and somehow he laughed, bitter and cold and completely different from usual.

“Some fucking confession, wasn’t it? I—god. I’m a bastard.” He covered his face with his hands and tried to hide wiping away his tears. “I’m a god-damned bastard.”

There was silence after his confession, not even the god-sent Mathew Williams being able to comfort him. And why would he? He was pathetic, crying as if he wanted Mathew to pity him when he had just—

A hand gently lifted his chin up, his arms falling away slowly as he looked up. His confused gaze met Mathew’s comforting one, who smiled and hugged him lightly.

“You said you cared about me, right?” Gilbert nodded dumbly, not remembering if it was true but not being able to do anything else. “Well, I care for you to. Not necessarily in that way, at least, not yet, but I’m willing to give it time,” Mathew said, entwining their fingers together.

“But—I don’t . . . I don’t deserve it. I mean, I just—”

“You kissed me Gilbert,” Mathew insisted softly, “and not even on the lips. And the second you thought you went too far, you stopped.”

Gilbert felt the anger in his stomach rise up again at the thought of Mathew forgiving the unforgivable so easily, and tore their hands apart, even if part of him didn’t want to.

“I stopped after I fucking pushed you up against and wall and practically m—”

“Stop,” Mathew said firmly, but not unkindly. “I know exactly what you were about to say and you are farther from it than anyone I know. The fact that you’re guilty just shows me that more than ever. I mean, pushing me against the wall was a bit much, but you were angry from waiting and I just yelled back. It’s partly my fault, if I didn’t—“

“Don’t,” Gilbert cut in suddenly. “Don’t blame yourself for this.”

“I’m not,” Mathew said, frowning slightly. “Even if you were angry, that doesn’t justify pushing me like you did, but I was just saying you’d be less angry if I hadn’t yelled at me. Look,” he said sighing, knowing Gilbert well enough to know he didn’t want meaningless words, “I’m not saying you should’ve done it, or that it was particularly nice, but you’re acting like you killed someone. It’s not—”

“What if I didn’t stop?” Gilbert said seriously.

“Huh?” Mathew asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

“What if I didn’t stop,” he repeated. “And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Mathew pursed his lips and thought. He didn’t answer for a long time.

“. . . I don’t know,” he said finally, and Gilbert bowed his head a toke a shuddering breath.

_That’s it. He hates me. I made him realize how fucked up I am and—_

“And I don’t need to,” Mathew finished. Now it was Gilbert’s turn to look surprised.

“Because you did stop,” he continued, once again taking up Gilbert’s hand in his own, rubbing softly, “and I don’t have to worry about what would happen if you didn’t. Because you know to stop. And you do. Stop, that is.”

Gilbert shook his head, stepping away and hoping his eyes would stop fucking burning but Mathew just took another step closer.

“Gilbert,” Mathew said taking his face in his hands, “Gilbert, look at me.”

He did, and the blue-violet eyes he could never quit describe right filled his vision. They expressed Mathew’s worry and fear and forgiveness more than he could ever put into words, and Gilbert wasn’t sure if he wanted Mathew to see in his eyes what he could never say or not. But that was just a forethought at the back of his mind, not to be truly worried over. And it wouldn’t work either way, as Gilbert couldn’t think of anything but those beautiful eyes in front of him that showed him everything. All the happiness, and sadness, and everything else.

He stared into his eyes until time floated away, and it wasn’t until Mathew let his arms fall away from his face he spoke.

“I still. . .” he said softly, trailing off but know Mathew understood every word. And he did, as he sighed, turning away at long last. A feeling of guilt filled him and he started to open his mouth—

And felt Mathew’s lips on his.

It was a chaste kiss, and only lasted a few seconds, but Gilbert stared at him as if he had just proclaimed he was in love with the cookie monster, forehead crinkling as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.

“There,” Mathew said simply.

Gilbert expression didn’t change.

“You stole a kiss from me, so I stole a kiss from you,” he said grinning. “See? Now we’re equal. Actually I may owe you something, since I kissed your lips instead of your cheek or something, eh?”

Gilbert stared at the Canadian, blinking as the logic dawned on him. A feeling of love—not romantic love, not yet, just love for a friends—and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on filled his chest, spreading throughout his body. And though he promised himself then and there he would never do like that to him ever again, he found himself blurting out something before he could even think of filtering himself.

“Can I push you up against the wall again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Gott" is German for God

**Author's Note:**

> 1/13/15 Okay, I can honestly say this has been up on my fanfiction account since last year. I'm not too good with double posting. Sorry! But if you want to look up my other stuff, it's under the name readingpower.


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